Singles, worldbuilding, and Neptune

the movie.  Seen it?  It’s like 2 movies put together.  If you watch it on mute and leave the room and come back in a whole bunch, it’s cool.  You get to see Eddie Vedder and the rest of Pearl Jam when they were just kids, see some Alice in Chains, etc.


but if you watch it, you’ll quickly realize that Cameron Crowe has absolutely no idea what he’s doing.  Why are these people who are almost 30 cast in these roles?  Why is one of the main characters a friggin’ traffic engineer?  Are we supposed to believe that at any stage of their lives Kyra Sedgwick or Bridget Fonda’s character would ever, ever, in a billion years go to a club where Alice in Chains is playing?  Really?  It doesn’t make any sense, but Grunge was just about to be all the rage and so, hell, we’ve gotta make a movie about it, right?

How often do we as authors do the same thing?  How often do we sit down to write and feel like there’s stuff we “have” to do.  Want to write a movie about relationships (I guess that’s what “Singles” can be boiled down too…)?  Then write one.  make the characters interesting, vibrant, quirky and cool.  But if they’re going to go to a show, you damn well better make them the type of person who’d go to them.  Trust me.  I went to those place, I saw those bands.  No way in hell was there anybody there who looked or acted or spoke like these guys…  It sucks.  It’s like watching your Uncle try to be cool.  (Except for me.  I have a legitamately cool Uncle…)

So, write what you want.  Don’t add shit just because you think you have to.  Write a fantasy with tight, tight worldbuilding, one that makes the reader work out the rules instead of laying them out in some lame prologue.  Write horror that hurts all the way through, that lets your characters make the right choices and still be in jeopardy.  Make it logical and consistent and stop doing the same damn things everybody else does.  Write better and more often and I swear to god if you cast Bridget Fonda in your book and then send her to an Alice in Chains concert and then expect me to go along with you on it, forget it.

Seriously, these are the most whitebread actors actors I’ve ever seen.  Read the script and, every time it says “Seattle” swap it for “Neptune” and it loses nothing.  Ug…  God, such pandering!


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