So, there’s this meme wandering around the net. Rules are:
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me!”
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will post the answers to the questions (and the questions themselves) on your blog or journal.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions. And thus the endless cycle of the meme goes on and on and on and on…
So, I followed the rules, left Lee Battersby an invitation to interrogation, and here’s the result…
Q 1. You have, imho, the coolest job in the entire world– official smart guy at a museum. Please, for the love of God, give us the bad side.
A I agree, it is a cool job. But let me paint you a picture, dear Lee. It is the middle of school holidays. Yesterday you had 3,000 people through the door, more than half of them children, and today will be the same. All of these kids want to see the same 2 planetarium shows, which seat 160 people each. When they’re not losing their lunch, or their shoes, or their minds, they’re getting lost themselves. We’ve had lost kids who were with the “other” (brainless) parent, unbeknownst to the parent in possession of the brain for the day. We’ve had found kids in groups of 3 and 4 waiting for their parents to come back for them because, get this, they’ve gone to a Planetarium show without their 6 year old… Fun!
Q 2. Apart from living amongst Melbournians, what’s the hardest part about being a Merkan living in Melbourne?
A Well, last year I moved to Geelong, so I only have to live amongst Melbournians at work, if that makes sense. I’d say the hardest part of that is people asking me if I’m from Canada. Canada! Like that’s an actual country, or something. The Canadians are the best. Nobody likes an American scratching their head and saying “Canada? Never heard of it,” more than a Canadian.
Q 3. You can’t have that beard and those boots and not love some sort of motorcycle, surely. Do you have one, and if not, why not?
A I don’t, purely because my wife, who I love more than life itself, has drawn a line in the asphalt. She works for the TAC (Transport Accident Commission) and I guess she doesn’t like the image of me getting scooped up in a shovel as much as most people who know me do.
Q 4. Your writing shows an amazing sense of gentleness and
loss. Does that come from somewhere within, or do you not have any idea what the hell I’m talking about?
A I like to write about what happens when darkness and fear slide themselves into the “real” world, this place where we all pretend everything’s going along exactly to plan. And I see a lot of people who invite it, who gather up losses and wear them around their neck. Personal hauntings. All of which lend themselves to a wistful kind of terror that makes me a little too happy inside. Also, I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.
Q 5. Tell the truth, pick only one or the other: Would you rather streak naked through your office or be known as the office farter?
A I guess I’d be the office streaker. Nothing says “stress leave” like running naked through a science museum full of kids.